EXCLUSIVE: Paul and Kaye Davis, from Portsmouth, embraced the swinging lifestyle in recent years and they want to prove that there is plenty of living to do after turning 40
Telling the love of your life that you fear you're missing out is not the easiest of conversations – but for one nurse it was the best thing she ever did.
Kaye Davis, from Portsmouth, was nervous about speaking to husband Paul about her true feelings, but it led to the pair becoming swingers.
And the open minded duo now say that seeking out different sexual partners made them an even stronger couple.
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They are having more fun than they ever did in their youth and are sharing their story for the first time – saying there's nothing shameful about what they are doing.
Kaye, 44, told Daily Star: “It has been amazing. We all say that age is just a number but I really feel that the person I am now is the person I should have always been. I’m here to prove there’s life after 44 and I feel like 40s is definitely the new 25.”
But the nurse may never have reached such a content state of mind had she kept her fears to herself.
She met Paul, also 44, at a kickboxing club and they have known each other for a long time – and last year they tied the knot having been together for a decade.
But prior to getting involved romantically with him, Kaye had been in another long-term relationship for 14 years, meaning she had never embraced the single life.
And it was that niggling thought at the back of her mind that made her initiate an open dialogue six years ago.
Remembering it, she said: “I did feel quite nervous but we communicate about everything. I just thought you know what, I am going to ask and if it’s a no, it’s a no.
“To begin with it started off as a fantasy like the plumber is going to come and fix your pipes. We never really played the field when we were younger.
“So it started like that and Paul said he didn’t feel like he had missed out on life but a little bit later he came to me and said ‘maybe I did, what do you want to do’?”
They eventually signed up to a swinger’s website and it wasn’t until a year later when they actually had sex with other people.
It happened at a swinger club in London and the anxious pair were prepared just to go as bystanders – but things took a kinky turn.
Opening up about the unforgettable night, Kaye said: “Oh we were absolutely crapping ourselves, so so nervous. We kept saying we are not going to do anything and we were just going to watch.
“But we were absolutely petrified, we had the butterflies in our stomachs and we walked into a club and there’s also this misconception that people think it’s going to be really a really seedy kind of club and you have this image of what swingers are going to look like but it’s nothing like that at all.
“They were all different ages, young, older, middle-aged and we went along and did a full couple swap on our first night. The next morning we had breakfast and I remember thinking, ‘oh my word, did we actually do that’.
“We are not particularly jealous people but you don’t know how you are going to feel so we thought that if it wasn’t right for us or it was going to affect our relationship or that if one of us didn’t like it then we would stop it – but we both thought it was absolutely amazing.”
Paul and Kaye, who now monetise their bedroom antics with an OnlyFans account, have attended sex clubs ever since and have made life-long friends along the way.
They also said it has enhanced their relationship by creating a stronger bond when they get back together after exploring their sexuality with others.
But they believe that embracing non-monogamy will not work for every couple – especially if the relationship is strained to begin with.
Kaye said: “Our sex life was fantastic and there was no issue with that but we felt like we were missing something. And if you feel the same way you just have to have the conversation and you have to be honest and transparent.
“But make sure you pick a good time, don’t wait until you are doing your food shop in Morrisons, sit down and have a good conversation.
“We have come across people who are in sex clubs and they have had arguments because they clearly shouldn’t be there.
“So make sure you set your boundaries, ours evolved over time but say to each other that it’s not about the other as a person, it’s about something you feel you need to explore, it might be a bisexual side you never experienced when you were younger and ask would they be happy coming along the journey with you.
“And make it clear that if it isn’t for you, you make clear that you both stop. We have heard of people where one partner didn’t like it and the other did and the relationship has gone to turmoil.
“So your relationship needs to be strong in the first place because as Paul says, it definitely won’t fix a broken relationship.”
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